This week was really good. Funny story! Hermana West and I will be staying together for yet another transfer that will be 4.5 months in total! And I get to stay in El Estrecho Punta Arenas! Coming up on 6 months in this area and still loving it. 

It is almost summer here! Its about 50 degrees and It is the best thing ever! I feel like I have been in a really long winter so its such a fun blessing to feel the sun!

So for the past 3 months I have been struggling with anxiety. ( basically my whole mission but its been worse) It has made the mission really hard. I started to feel I wasnt a very good missionary, I was never meeting my expectations. I wanted to help the people but always felt I was falling short. I started to feel so far away from my Heavenly Father and my SaviorJesus Christ. Its like I was teaching about Gods love and about His son Jesus Christ but I didnt feel it for me. It has been so hard but it has been such a wonderful blessing and experience! I have had to fix my eyes on my Savior Jesus Christ like never before. After about 8 months of feeling constantly stressed or like I wasnt measuring up, I told my mission president and He reccommended I talk to the mission counselor. That has helped so much. I have been learning for myself personally all the things as a missionary we teach the people. It was scary and humbling to ask for help but I am so grateful Heavenly Father has been giving me these challenges because I have never enjoyed the missionary work more. I have never loved the people so much. There are days when the anxiety is worse and I feel so far from my Savior but I always can hold on and know that He has not abandoned me. The more I get to know His character the more I feel worthy of His love. That I can enjoy the journey. Elder Holland gave a talk in conference called "Like a Broken Vessel". At times I feel like that. But I know more now than ever before that God loves us. That He loves me. In my weaknesses and strengths. I have had prayers answered and everytime He feels far I just hold on:) 

The thing that has helped me the most in all of it, the mission, anxiety etc. is coming to know my Savior. I have just spent time learning about Him. I love reading in the Book of Mormon because the prophets speak of Jesus Christ like they really know Him. This past week I focused on 2 nephi chapters 1 and 2. I felt like Lehi was talking about Jesus Christ like His good friend. I felt so close to my Savior as I read. Through all of this I have felt I Heavenly Father is really allowing me to be instruments in His hands. I had in my mind "the perfect missionary" that missionary never joked, never made mistakes, always taught perfect etc. I am realizing a good missionary is someone who loves Jesus Christ and trusts that He will make them great. I know as we humble ourselves, we can pass ourselves to Christ and allow Him, to make us instruments in His hands. 

Trials and weakness are wonderful! They are like learning a new language. For example me learning spanish has opened up to me a whole world of people. Now experimenting anxiety opens me up to a whole world of people I never understood before but now through Jesus Christ I can have more empathy and trully feel for them or bring them closer to their Savior. 

Its not great. Somedays are really hard but Its all going to be okay. :) I am grateful for all of your prayers and I am grateful to be a missionary and that Heavenly Father is making me strong in my weakness. The mission is a wonderful place to struggle because you have so many people around you to serve and help. 

The investigators are doing well. I love this ward so much. They are getting excited about missionary work and gaining more trust in us. 

Halloween was so much fun! We had trick or treaters come to our appt!

I love you all! God lives and He loves us. He knows our pains and struggles. He is the one who makes us strong in our weakness. 

Love Hermana Egbert